things

1. the orange sun through the curtains in the morning
2. fletchy's smile
3. songs like cherry wine
4. dad's laugh
5. pancakes
6. the kind man at the toll booth who I don't see anymore
7. big green trees
8. you + all that
9. the people around me in the beginning of august
10. this city, its heartbeat
11. nice soap

you're not

There is nothing wrong with being somebody you're not. 

Who are you if you're not someone's pleasantly drawn up sketch, a perceived notion, an inevitable victim of the world's misimpression? 

anytime

It’s early in the morning. We are driving somewhere. Father-daughter bliss, the way it was always supposed to be.

Ain’t no sunshine when she goes.

You know I love this song, you say. You look happy but feel sad when you say it.

I wonder about the time so many years ago when you were late picking me up from school. You are never late. I held hands with the principal and cried while I watched the boys throw rocks into the creek. I didn’t even know we had a creek, until then. When did we get a creek? I asked. Just a few more minutes, she said. He’ll be here soon.

You pulled up and my heart exploded in my chest. She was worried, she said with an embarrassed smile, like I was her kid.

“That’s my dad,” I said, looking her square in the eyes. "That's my dad." 

She smiled again, and so did you. Yours was different.

You held my hand as we walked to the car. I won't be late again, you said. I won't let you down again.

And you haven’t.

I wonder though, so many years later on this early morning when we are driving somewhere:

Have I?

And this house just ain’t no home, anytime she goes away.